Following the rules

I was never a big rule breaker. For the most part, I’ve been law abiding all my life.

There are two exceptions, however — I often exceed the speed limit and I rarely read instructions.

I’ve tamed the lead foot by using my cruise control when on the highway. My ratio of speeding tickets to time spent on the highway dipped drastically once I was able to set a speed and keep my foot off the gas pedal.

But instructions, that’s a tough one.

I simply don’t like instructions. They take too long to read, they often don’t make sense, and I always think I can do it without instructions.

And I’m usually wrong.

So, for once, I’m doing it the right way. I wrestled my new microwave out of it’s Styrofoam-packed box, plugged it in, and then retired to the couch to read the instruction manual cover to cover.

OK, I skipped the section on child proofing. There are no children here and the only one who would be befuddled by that would be me. So I skipped that section.

But I read about dangerous metals, greased-clogged vents and how to defrost meat. I never read any of that with my other microwave ovens.

Will this make me a better cook?

I doubt it. After all, this is a microwave, an invention for those of us who don’t excel in the kitchen. And how badly did I need it? I waited approximately 19 hours after my old microwave stopped working to go out and buy a new one. The malfunctioning Emerson now sits in a hazardous waste bin at the County Landfill. It cost me $3 to drop it off and well worth the money.

As for my new LG, I’m sure it’s going to heat up a very tasty bowl of canned soup tonight. And who can ask more of an electric appliance?

 

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