Back in line!

For some reason, of late I have been standing in line. It seems constantly.

And I have discovered that I don’t queue up very nicely.

I first noticed my out of a-line-ment problem at the library, of all places..

As I headed to the checkout, which features a clear sign telling people where to start lining up, I noticed people were standing about all over the place.

“Are you in line?” I asked someone who wasn’t standing anywhere near the sign.
“Yes,” she said, looking at me as if something was wrong with me.

I proved her right by edging right up behind her until I was breathing down her neck.

Little by little, she edged forward until she was standing pretty close to the right place, so I backed off.

This is a frequent problem at the library so I often find myself riding herd on the reading impaired, shepherding them into an acceptable formation.

My next encounter with poorly trained line standers was at the post office. I had unwittingly chosen the day after a holiday to visit the post office. Turns out, that’s a very busy day.

I encountered a guy standing in the door lock, just outside the door to the lobby. “Are you in line?” I politely asked him.

“Yes,” he said, looking at me suspiciously as if perhaps he knew my history with library line standers. I didn’t want to disappoint him so I crowded into his personal space until he opened the door and popped into the lobby, with me right behind him. I continued to crowd him forward as other people were coming in behind me and they also wanted to get in the door.

The most annoying lines, though, have been at Marcus Theater where Tuesday movies draw a big crowd, especially at the concessions stand because free popcorn is offered.

The concessions workers are slow, the people standing in line show no impatience — except for me, and the lines resemble something out of a second grade lineup for the cafeteria. Except I’m sure the teachers enforce much stricter straight line rules with second graders.

If I’m ever unfortunate enough to be in a police lineup, I’m pretty sure I’ll have to bully the other participants into a straight line.



I’m singing the blues

Has anyone else tried to sign up for the new mandatory health insurance in the last month?
I don’t recommend it. Not that I’ve had much choice since my COBRA coverage ran out in December.
My odyssey began the first week in December when I tried to sign up for insurance online and couldn’t do it.
Next step, an insurance agent. She guided me through the setup and then told me I needed to send in a 2013 tax return and wait to be approved.
I’m still waiting,, and I’m getting impatient.
Meanwhile, you keep sending me more computer-generated letters telling me I haven’t sent you enough information. But you won’t tell me the one piece of information I could give you that would let me get all this settled.
So back to my insurance agent I went after suffering through a frustrating toll-free call in which the person “helping” me confessed she’d never seen my file and wouldn’t be seeing my file. And, no, she couldn’t transfer me to anyone who had seen my file.
I apologize, government employee, for venting my spleen because there was some semi-shouting involved by the time I hung up after 45 minutes of non-help.
So my insurance agent and I did a conference call and we got the same run around.
I went back two weeks later to my insurance agent who called again and it was the same story. Nobody could see my file.
Today, over the lunch hour. someone from the health market place called and asked if it would be a good time to talk.
“It’s great,” I cried, thinking I would finally settle this pesky problem.
Turns out, this caller was just like the computer-generated letters. She’d never seen my file but was calling me to tell me I should send more information. She didn’t know what information, just that I should send more. At least this time she told me to have my insurance agent ask for a “supervisor” who would surely be able to see my file.
What a bunch of bunk. I’d like to meet the four or five people who have successfully navigated this horrible bureaucracy. I have an insurance card — I just don’t know what I’m going to be paying for the privilege of using it., I think you should take the word “care” out of your title because I haven’t found anyone yet who cares enough to get this settled.